BATTLE REPORT! Team OverDeathwatch F'd-in-the-A by The Space Marines: Abridged
In a friendly Kill Team exhibition scrim last night, dubbed "Operation: Point A to Point B, what's so hard about that?", Team OverDeathwatch, a mixed-chapter bag of Deathwatch marines led by Genji Shimada suffered a decisive loss against the Space Marines Abridged, the Militarum Tempestus team led by Faustino Doomfist.
Only Genji himself managed to cross the field of battle successfully, while the rest of his squad were defeated in what he dubbed: "shittacular fashion, tunneling the enemy and death-matching instead of playing the objective like a bunch of boosted bronze noobs".
The scene in the locker room after the match... was somber.
"You need healing." a disappointed Mr. Shimada spoke to the room of injured vets. "Think upon your actions....ningen nado, toruni taranwa!"
"I don't speak Japanese, mate, but that sounded like Heresy" snapped Jamison 'Junkrat' Fawkes. "I had gold damage and elims and carried YOU across the line, ya dipstick! You want someone to blame, report Rein for throwing", he added, before storming out.
".....gold elims was only 1" - Gabriel 'Reaper' Reyes commented, a stifled laugh penetrating the sound of Remidium Pattern Servitors working to reconstruct his face.
To be fair, Team SMA took effective map control early on, leveraging terrain verticality to position ranged on high-ground, and flankers offset to cover the choke point on Kings Row, disrupting OverDeathwatchs' Reinhardt & Brigette front-line brawlers, who struggled to close the distance from match onset.
"I'm still trying to figure out why the fuck I only have a hammer", commented Reinhardt Wilhelm, offtank of TODW. Rein had a rough match, missing a key charge that could have opened up space for the rest of TODW to push through the upper choke to victory, but failing.
After being punished for the first charge with significant damage taken, a second charge would send Rein YOLOing across towards SMA's flanking team, hoping to get a cheeky pin on the enemy Widowmaker Emilio O'Seltzer. He was instead jbaited into a well-timed Rocket Punch by Faustino, bank-shotting Rein's body into the adjacent wall like a meaty metal 8-ball.
When later roused, Rein commented on the play. "I mean, I had that bitch pinned, when the next thing I know, I'm standing before Allfather Jeff, asking him what happened. He just kept licking his lips....sitting there. What does it mean?!"
It wasn't completely one-sided, TODW's Junkrat managed to to land a well placed 'nade from his Frag Cannon, opening the window ascent for himself and Genji to scale up in a mad dash for the end-zone, though dying shortly thereafter from an ulting soldier firing over-charged plasma rounds.
Genji, popping reflect as Fawkes ate the hail of plasma, managed to dash out at the last moment, clearing the board and scoring their only victory point of the match.
TODW's Reaper moved to fall in with Rein against the flankers, but the Doomfist shut down forced him to wraith form away from the firing squad that remained.
Attempting to bug out around a blind alley away from all attackers and potentially scoring, he only found more bad luck waiting. Materializing face-to-face with a well placed booby trap, his mask provided insufficient protection against the shaped explosion, taking him out of both the match, and future beauty pageants.
MVP awards were presented to Emilio O'Seltzer, fulfilling his reach out and touch someone duties as the Sniper specialist for team SMA, and also to Faustino Doomfist, for the classic Lifesaver Play of the Game which saved Emilio from the Rein charge.
SMA also presented a special Man on the Inside award to Games Workshop, for their production of the "perfectly balanced" Blood Angels dice used during the match which contributed failure rolls at every key junction for Team OverDeathwatch.
Only Genji himself managed to cross the field of battle successfully, while the rest of his squad were defeated in what he dubbed: "shittacular fashion, tunneling the enemy and death-matching instead of playing the objective like a bunch of boosted bronze noobs".
The scene in the locker room after the match... was somber.
"You need healing." a disappointed Mr. Shimada spoke to the room of injured vets. "Think upon your actions....ningen nado, toruni taranwa!"
"I don't speak Japanese, mate, but that sounded like Heresy" snapped Jamison 'Junkrat' Fawkes. "I had gold damage and elims and carried YOU across the line, ya dipstick! You want someone to blame, report Rein for throwing", he added, before storming out.
".....gold elims was only 1" - Gabriel 'Reaper' Reyes commented, a stifled laugh penetrating the sound of Remidium Pattern Servitors working to reconstruct his face.
To be fair, Team SMA took effective map control early on, leveraging terrain verticality to position ranged on high-ground, and flankers offset to cover the choke point on Kings Row, disrupting OverDeathwatchs' Reinhardt & Brigette front-line brawlers, who struggled to close the distance from match onset.
"I'm still trying to figure out why the fuck I only have a hammer", commented Reinhardt Wilhelm, offtank of TODW. Rein had a rough match, missing a key charge that could have opened up space for the rest of TODW to push through the upper choke to victory, but failing.
After being punished for the first charge with significant damage taken, a second charge would send Rein YOLOing across towards SMA's flanking team, hoping to get a cheeky pin on the enemy Widowmaker Emilio O'Seltzer. He was instead jbaited into a well-timed Rocket Punch by Faustino, bank-shotting Rein's body into the adjacent wall like a meaty metal 8-ball.
When later roused, Rein commented on the play. "I mean, I had that bitch pinned, when the next thing I know, I'm standing before Allfather Jeff, asking him what happened. He just kept licking his lips....sitting there. What does it mean?!"
It wasn't completely one-sided, TODW's Junkrat managed to to land a well placed 'nade from his Frag Cannon, opening the window ascent for himself and Genji to scale up in a mad dash for the end-zone, though dying shortly thereafter from an ulting soldier firing over-charged plasma rounds.
Genji, popping reflect as Fawkes ate the hail of plasma, managed to dash out at the last moment, clearing the board and scoring their only victory point of the match.
TODW's Reaper moved to fall in with Rein against the flankers, but the Doomfist shut down forced him to wraith form away from the firing squad that remained.
Attempting to bug out around a blind alley away from all attackers and potentially scoring, he only found more bad luck waiting. Materializing face-to-face with a well placed booby trap, his mask provided insufficient protection against the shaped explosion, taking him out of both the match, and future beauty pageants.
MVP awards were presented to Emilio O'Seltzer, fulfilling his reach out and touch someone duties as the Sniper specialist for team SMA, and also to Faustino Doomfist, for the classic Lifesaver Play of the Game which saved Emilio from the Rein charge.
SMA also presented a special Man on the Inside award to Games Workshop, for their production of the "perfectly balanced" Blood Angels dice used during the match which contributed failure rolls at every key junction for Team OverDeathwatch.
Comments
Post a Comment